Isabel Warrior Princess: Autumn Follicles

Greetings and salutations

I just want to start off by saying.  Thank you for the overwhelming support for my updates.  I really just started them to kill time when Isabel slept, and I was up at night.  But because of the response it really has inspired me to want to write more.  So like some writers I like to think of a Subject name to try and capture the mood of the week.  Sort of like the name of a chapter so to speak.  I guess you could say going through this is like a new chapter each week.  Who knows what will happen at any given time or around the hypothetical corner.  So the title this week is Autumn Follicles.  Felt I should touch on the meaning at the beginning cause at times they relate to me as well as Isabel.  Through all this we are more connected than I even realized.  Guess emotions and strengths can be passed on metaphysically if the bond is there.  Or quite simply it might be that Isabel is that "special".  I do admit at first glance the title seems a bit like an odd couple.  So I'll just list the two dictionary definitions and start there
Autumn is one of the four temperate seasons. Autumn marks the transition from summer into winter usually in September (Northern Hemisphere) or March (Southern Hemisphere) when the arrival of night becomes noticeably earlier.

So basically through this process we went from the blissful time that is summer with kids.  And all that entails (parks, play grounds, trips to the beach, more ice cream, more day light to play, POOL).  The last part about the arrival of night becoming noticeable earlier................well if being in the hospital doesn't feel like being in the dark (not knowing what is in front of you, waiting for the sunlight to come back up), than I'm a worse writer then I thought lol.  I do admit to being terrible at grammar. 

Now I'll pause relating it to Isabel to actually use this as a way to share a bit of my story.  Seeing how she is my mini me, in more ways than looks.  But not with what I'm about to share.  I feel as though if I am openly sharing her disease and giving the details, the least I can do is tell mine.

I would say roughly 6 years ago I was diagnosed  with Bi Polar Disorder.

Whew that wasn't so hard.  I know that its a lot more common these days.   And understanding of it is getting better.  But I think there is still a stigma attached to it, and is the butt of many jokes.  Not that I actually get offended cause us Bi-Polars wouldn't be able to survive without a sense of humor.  To use a quote as I so often to do "Life is a tragedy to those who feel, and a comedy for those who think".  I won't get into to many details as not to make this about me.  But when I mention certain things or talk about breakdowns.  They are very much bi polar related.  When the nurses and doctors tell parents that you have to be strong for your kids.  To make sure you take care of yourself, because your no good to them if your mentally or physically exhausted.  Its a nice steel toe boot to the culo, that i need to buck up and get a hold of this tricky little disease.  You see I know for a lot of people or maybe a few its just an excuse for somebody to be; lazy, a liar, a cheater, a thief, a delinquent, worthy of being left in jail.  But to those inflicted its a daily struggle to act "normal".  You have to be on top of your routine of it could send you into a manic state of depression.  I have experience the utmost of the manic episode and recently have hit the deepest of depression.  Luckily for my case it hasn't included suicidal thoughts.  Their are different levels just like their are different stages in cancer. *DISCLAIMER: I AM IN NO WAY COMPARING MY DISEASE WITH ISABEL'S".  Just a simple metaphor. I would say I had to talk about me being BI POLAR.  Cause it shouldn't have to be anymore of a secret than having Diabetes.  Both require a lifestyle in order to maintain it, both are genetic and not a choice.  Now I could go on a rant about pharmacutial compaines, but I think Michael Moore beat me too it lol.  Also by sharing this I can be more open and honest about my mind set through all this.  The greatest lesson Isabel has thought me so far is, you are always stronger than you think you can possibly be.  If she can beat a disease designed to cause death.  I damn sure better be able to put in the work to get a gripe of mine, and finally consistently be who I was meant to be "Father of the Warrior Princess".  To fufil what I hope to be my legacy one day.  That when I am no longer here and my name is brought up.  That they at least say when Aldo was around he made me laugh once.  For that is the strongest medicine that no scientist or company can reproduce, with the same potency for healing.  And so thus concludes my special announcement, please continue to the real reason we are all here.

Back to the explanation of the title

Follicles
Hair production occurs in phases, including a growth phase (anagen), and cessation phase (catagen), and a rest phase (telogen). Stem cells are principally responsible for the production of hair. 

The most obivious correlation between the two words in the title is follicles = hair autumn = fall.  Not sure if its been discussed in previous updates.  But yes Isabel's hair has fallen out.  I would say she has lost 70%.  But luckily her vibrant curls and natural volume hide it in more pictures.  By the middle of January wouldn't be surprised if she was close to bald.  Now i still remember the exact moment Ivey heard the doctor say that back in October.  I heard the words in her head "But it took her so long to grow that beautiful long curly hair".  You see Isabel had the most slowing growing hair.  I swear she grew taller faster than her hair grew lol.  So to us this was going to be a big deal that would really upset her.  Well being the Warrior Princess she is, she took it in stride and made a joke of it.  To see your daughter pull chucks of hair out and play with it, and blow it at you like it funny.  Well how can you tell me children aren't the Warriors.  We were able to relate it to her Tia Cristina, because she had under gone Chemo when Isabel was 3.  So she remembered Tia being bald.  And Tia being a true Santiesteban went around and out proud with big (literally lol sorry tia) bold head.  Thus discovery that she shared the same shaped head as her brother lol.  Add to the fact that her grand daughter Lily looked so much like her and was bald and big headed (Love you Raquel lol).  Thus when we explained it to her we just told her that she was special like her tia.  That they would now share a bond cause they had special buttons and were girls who would be bald for a bit.  But the fact that we could tell Isabel when she got better and beat her cancer, her hair would grow back longer, stronger and prettier, seemed to soothe her enough.  I just kept reminding her that in Tangled a disney movie.  Rapunzel thought all her strenghty and uniquiness was in her long flowing blonde hair.  But at the end of the movie her love interest and love of her life was dying.  But the kicker was that the hair is what kept her mother young for she was over 100 with the looks of a 30 yr old.  I know I know what mother wouldn't want to keep that magic to themselves and keep her up in a tower.  But what I'm getting at is her love interest was dying and instead of letting her use her special hair power to save him.  He cut off her hair so she would be free of the warden like control of her mother.   Sitting there crying over his lifeless body(yes Disney is quite sad for a kid movie).  Something special happened her tear fell on his wound and because she loved him so much, she was able to heal him.  She than realized that her true power wasn't in her hair, but it was always inside of her she just didn't know how to find it, until meet with the most dire situation.  So moral of story is woman stop spending hours on your hair............you still will always have the power regardless.  But fixing it up is appreciated as well lol.

Alrighty think I about exhausted all the similarties of hair.  Maybe all those years of being around so many woman family members and a tia who was a hair stylist, gave me a bit to much insight into woman's hair lol.  Or too much of Lifetime and Oxygen channel lol.

Think I've rambled enough and made you prove you wanted to actually hear about Isabel.  On to the update finally.  When we last left off Isabel was going home riding off into the sunset.  She slept so long and hard.  Nothing like being at home.  Even with the knowledge she had to go back to the hospital clinic Saturday the 19th to get a shot that helps boost her white blood cells in her leg.  She still was upbeat, hey whats one shot she must have thought when I get to go back home.  As long as it didn't include any type of bandage she didn't let much get to her.  But is so common unfortunately in the hospital there was a mix up.  They couldn't find the shot mind you this is a $3,000 shot.  Is Michael Moore listening to that one lol.   Luckily Ivey has great insurance so it offsets most of the price.  So there they are not even 18 hours removed from the hospital.  Having to wait and wait for them to figure out their mistake to give her the shot that she needs since the chemo drops her white blood count to zero.  Needless to say Ivey was BPO Beyond Pissed Off with just cause.  Who in their ever loving mind misplaces a shot of that expense.  Only in America I assume lol.  But after 4 hours they realized that Opps they never ordered the shot, since it was a special order.  Oh silly them they just happened to forget that they just wasted an afternoon of a kid with cancer, when she could be at home.  Why would she not want to be back at the hospital.  The food is so good here /sarcasm.  But for Isabel it was just a day she got to hang out with Mami at the Kids Hospital, and in her words "They didn't poke me either".  That was true well until they had to come back the very next day.  Ahh hospital living now that is an experience like dating an unstable person.  It can be fun one minute the next your crying cause your in pain.

So we were looking forward to a week at home and an appt with the clinic later on for her to start her next treatment.  Just to bring you back up to speed.  First cycle of chemo she went back after 1 day home.  Second cycle she spend 2 days home.  So why would the third disappoint.  On Day 3 Isabel had a high fever which meant straight to the ER.  Yay another trip to the ER that was not as entertaining as the TV Show.  I mean give us a little Grey's Anatomy, throw us a bone.  So we already knew that meant another unexpected (but at this point a little expected) week at the hospital added on to her scheduled time.

I would say that in typical Warrior Princess fashion she initially let her anger peek thru.  But put it away as to not overwhelm the common folk.  Guess she decided she might as well try and make the best and continue laughing.  Maybe it was the thought that when she's at the hospital she learned that she is a pro at all board games and dominoes lol.  She was now more familiar with her different nurses, and had a few convo's and jokes exchanged.  One thing is that I believe she has made every tech & nurse leave the room smiling or laughing at one point.  There are some that even when not assigned to her, come by to just say hey and see that smile.  I do feel lucky that even though I'm the one usually there to hold her down when they have to take bandages off.  I get that smile all the time.  She still loves her Papi even after he left them hurt her.  I guess as parents we need to take that pain, do what we must to do what we feel will be in the best interest for our children.  But hearing her plead to me Papi why are you letting them hurt me.  It it just really breaks my heart, but if that's not a dads job to take that abuse and pain, my dad is a classic example of the silent stoic hero.  If I was going to try and be her savior or hero I needed to reach down where I had that absolute resolve when this first started.

Following with the theme of Papi being there for the more painful experiences.  On the 24th of November she had one of the most to that point difficult side effect to deal with.  She had a severely bad nose bleed.  As they are know to do it came unexpected, without a hint it was coming,  So there we are Papi and Isabel watching tv, playing a game, really can't remember at this point.  But BOOM blood starts tickling out.  She had a very brief nose bleed earlier but that lasted about a minute.  Well this one went on for a good two hours.  Add to that the coming and going of different tech, nurses, doctor, eye throat eye doctor.  To say I was submerged in deep water trying to swim up to the top, might sound cliche considering water and blood both liquid.  But that was such a hard night.  I really won't go to much into detail but they had to squeeze her nose to try and stop the bleeding.  Which after a few minutes really starts to hurt.  Seeing wash cloth after wash cloth fill with blood, was scary to me so I can only assume how terrified she was.  Actually I could sense it by the look in her eyes, the sound of her voice.  So fast forward nearly 3 hours later, after a platelets transfusion and a blood transfusion.  Isabel was finally able to settle down and try and recharge her batteries.  For while they were trying to stop the bleeding.  She let out her warrior roar and told them exactly what they could do.  GET OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU HURT ME, GET OUT, I DON"T LIKE YOU.  Hey better them then me.  At least they getting paid to get yelled at lol.

Luckily that was the worse night there, and Mom didn't have to experience her daughter like that.  Have to find one positive even in the most dire situation.  Its the only way to really survive this or life in general.  I feel and benefited from trying to keep positive thoughts in my head.  To keep reminding myself you had to expect all this, but you will get back Isabel Marie Santiesteban Princess Warrior, as Isa says her full name is lol.

So this brings us up until that weekend where we were hoping would be when she would finally break the constant fever she had.  Another update to come within a couple days.  Thanks for reading.

There is no passion to be found playing small in settling for a life that is less than the one you are cable of living - Nelson Mandela