Greetings and salutations,
I took a bit of
a break from writing about Isabel. Figured the holidays were a good
time to just rest and regroup. Although its a great way to vent,
update, explain & share. It can take a toll on you rehashing some
of the more painful things that have transpired. Its great to chronicle
the weeks so that when she eventually goes into remission, we can look
back and have a timeline of sorts. But actually trying to sit down and
write it is a different story. I've had a couple times where i tried to
sit down and write updates. But honestly before Christmas all I was
concerned with or focused on was her getting out by the 24th. Although
Ivey had made a great point, that we could always do another "Christmas
dinner". It
wouldn't have been the same in my eyes. It took me some time to really
stop stressing about what day she went home and focus on just staying
positive. You have to always remind yourself, with chemo their are no
set days. Each day will bring some twist or something unexpected. Even
if its just that she has a day with no issues. To hear me say that
just her playing like a regular kid is a great day, still makes me sad.
But than she says something silly or makes a funny face, and all that
sadness melts away. She has been so strong through out this process.
Time has flown by since we are going on 14 weeks, since her first
hospital admission. So much has gone on.................but it still
feels like nothing has happened. Time is figuratively standing still.
Even when I'm smiling, laughing, trying to do normal things, I can never
shake what she is going through out my mind.
I would go back and retell each week,
describe how each day went. But honestly it gets harder and harder to
want to write so much about it. Although we are getting closer and
closer with each passing day that she will be in remission this year.
That in itself doesn't give you absolute reassurance that you can
exhale. Each bit of news we get has remained positive, but the unquiet
mind always has to remind you worse case scenario. One thing you can't
control is just the day to day stuff that can makes you just get stuck
in thought. A song, a commercial, a tv show, a conversation with
somebody, something you see driving, shoot even certain things in the
grocery store. But than I spend the day with her, and am in awe of how
she is so much like herself. She is the hyper smart awesome pretty
silly goofy character she always has been. Its like she has matured a
year in these
last 3 months. I guess being thrust into this situation at any age
will mature you quickly, at this rate she will be 10 by the time she
goes into remission at the age of 5 lol.
So I
don't want to sound all doom and gloom. She is really doing quite
spectacular. She is currently undergoing her sixth round of chemo. Her
last round the 5th round was by far her longest and one of the most
difficult ones yet. I still don't try and recall each day. What I do
think about is the truly positive things that happened during those
almost 3 weeks. She has the hospital staff in love with her. They all
know her by her new name Warrior Princess. She has stayed receiving
support, prayers, positive thought, gifts & charity. Isabel had me
dealing with some bent up issues, I had kept locked up that I didn't
want to think about. She is really learning about her inner strength,
she
seems to be gaining more confidence through out this process. Isabel
has helped inspire different people that she is around or has heard her
story. She was overwhelming blessed for Christmas, between all her
family & friends she got so many presents. She has actually decided
to donate all her old toys, since she got so many new ones. She wants
to give them to the kids hospital.
And the biggest surprise........................ISABEL
MARIE SANTIESTEBAN...........WARRIOR PRINCESS..............HAS BEEN
APPROVED FOR - MAKE A WISH -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We actually find out about her being approved not just nominated right before she got released on the 21th
of December. You can't ask for a better thing to find out right before
his discharge & right before
Christmas. Isabel is definitely a blessed child. She is loved by so
so many, I think that is why her inner glow is so bright. Its a
reflection of the love around her.
So
where we stand today is Isabel is currently @Children's Hospital. She
was admitted 12/30/11. Her stay should be about 14-18 days. So if
their are no complications she will be out of the hospital Mid-January.
After she is discharged about a week later she will get her follow up
CT & Pet Scan. So by months end we will have a clearer picture of
her progress. Anxious to say the least, but one step closer to knowing
what the next step on the road map to remission is.
I will try and do more frequent updates now the holidays have passed. I sit here again at 4
am..........the quiet time, currently listening to
Ella Fitzgerald & Louie Armstrong. Such soothing music has me calmed down enough to finish writing this update.
Ella Fitzgerald & Louie Armstrong. Such soothing music has me calmed down enough to finish writing this update.
Remember you can see all the previous updates from the beginning of her diagnosis on the blog we started to tell her story.
Dueces,
Father of the Warrior Princess
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