There is no greater serenity in the middle of the night to look over your daughter/son and see them so deep in sleep, that they barely toss and turn. The number ANC 7250 is the sweetest sound we have gotten in the week leading up. Especially considering she starts her MTX chemo Sunday morning. So she needs all your support, prayers & strength this week so we can all get what we want. Isabel the Warrior Princess home for Christmas. To be @ the Santiesteban Family Christmas Dinner. Where what ever drama, fight, gossip. For that one day our family joins together for the love of unity and laughs the night away. I made the mistake last time I was deeply depressed & stressed severly to miss that event. The following year was one of my worse. So I know that even if i'm the crazy one in the room. Isabel will be the angel that will light it up and blind others that I am there. I can't wait for pierna, white rice, black beans, ropa vieja & tostones(sp). So Familia Santiesteban I love you all, i can feel the love you all give me. Don't ever think I take it for advantage. Just cause you talk and I don't listen doesn't mean I don't hear you when I'm alone with my thoughts.
Papi:
I'm sorry I stormed out but I honestly can't give you a two day in advance schedule until she is in remission. I know I'm just your son and your the "boss" as my father. I know you want to do the Aldo's Studio. It is your passion and it was what you were meant to do. They say its not the photographer but the eye behind it. I always knew there is love behind it, but at least you have the seamtress back. You have Lester temporarily back for a big job. Lester is a harder worker than I ever was, while with you. I understand that I have taken advantage time and time again. Its time to end the cycle. I wasn't a good employee, you only kept me on cause you love me. But I am not going off the deep end. I honestly want to always be there for Isabel. I feel her pain, but i want to give her my strength.
If my belief in her ever wavers than she will not be as happy as she has been these last few days. The doctors were expecting her counts to not come up till middle of next week. But here we are Saturday (well techinally) Sunday morning. Her counts are beyond where they wanted them to be. I was worried Thursday when they wanted to push up the chemo. But mom told me just what i needed to hear to know that she needed it right away. I hear no evil see, speak no evil, hear no evil. I just want to share the strength that my Warrior Princess has shown. I can't fail her again. I would never be able to live with myself, if I didn't give her my all at this time.
I know I f@cked up when I was depressed. Yes I disappeard for a week. Yes I can't remember 95 percent of what happened. Cause I let the pain and darkness consume me. I didn't know day from night. But its night now and I'm seeing clearer than I have in years. Even if I don't know much I know that Isabel the Warrior Princess is my "light house" leading me ashore. No matter the time of day or what weather mother nature decides to cast down.
I actually wrote this on 12/17........its just hard to tell night from day especially after daylight savings time...................cause when I come in to the hospital its dark and when I leave its dark. Sometimes when your sleep deprived you may think you hear creaks and noises, it might just be the house is old or needs repair. So have I really solved any big mystery, not really I just realized its a lot easier to control my Bi Polar disorder, just take the prescribed pills, see my psychologist, try to do more positive than negative, and as every good news anchor I need a good sign off..........................
Papi:
I'm sorry I stormed out but I honestly can't give you a two day in advance schedule until she is in remission. I know I'm just your son and your the "boss" as my father. I know you want to do the Aldo's Studio. It is your passion and it was what you were meant to do. They say its not the photographer but the eye behind it. I always knew there is love behind it, but at least you have the seamtress back. You have Lester temporarily back for a big job. Lester is a harder worker than I ever was, while with you. I understand that I have taken advantage time and time again. Its time to end the cycle. I wasn't a good employee, you only kept me on cause you love me. But I am not going off the deep end. I honestly want to always be there for Isabel. I feel her pain, but i want to give her my strength.
If my belief in her ever wavers than she will not be as happy as she has been these last few days. The doctors were expecting her counts to not come up till middle of next week. But here we are Saturday (well techinally) Sunday morning. Her counts are beyond where they wanted them to be. I was worried Thursday when they wanted to push up the chemo. But mom told me just what i needed to hear to know that she needed it right away. I hear no evil see, speak no evil, hear no evil. I just want to share the strength that my Warrior Princess has shown. I can't fail her again. I would never be able to live with myself, if I didn't give her my all at this time.
I know I f@cked up when I was depressed. Yes I disappeard for a week. Yes I can't remember 95 percent of what happened. Cause I let the pain and darkness consume me. I didn't know day from night. But its night now and I'm seeing clearer than I have in years. Even if I don't know much I know that Isabel the Warrior Princess is my "light house" leading me ashore. No matter the time of day or what weather mother nature decides to cast down.
I actually wrote this on 12/17........its just hard to tell night from day especially after daylight savings time...................cause when I come in to the hospital its dark and when I leave its dark. Sometimes when your sleep deprived you may think you hear creaks and noises, it might just be the house is old or needs repair. So have I really solved any big mystery, not really I just realized its a lot easier to control my Bi Polar disorder, just take the prescribed pills, see my psychologist, try to do more positive than negative, and as every good news anchor I need a good sign off..........................
ISABEL WARRIOR PRINCESS.............."ATTACKED BUT NEVER DEFEATED"
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